Last month, my wife and I ran the Disney World Half Marathon together. Since this was her first half marathon race, I agreed to follow her well-thought-out race strategy: “Follow everyone until it’s over. And then go back to sleep.”
When she told me this was her plan at the start line, I laughed out loud. And although we were far from last, we took our own sweet time meandering through the course – stopping to take photographs with pirates, with penguins, in front of castles, and even of other runners as the sun rise changed the colors of our background. We had a blast and I highly recommend enjoying a big race like this every once in a while.
One key lesson, however, came at the expense of a guy only slightly more determined to get to the finish than I was. As we came up on the 9 mile water stop there was something different at the front. A group of young women with tongue depressors, each with chartreuse goo globing off one end, were standing ready to hand one to anyone who would grab it.
One of the women was holding a big container (most likely from where the goo originated) that had the words “BIO FREEZE” on the outside. Well, as I wondered why someone would call an electrolyte replacement product “BIO FREEZE”, and actively thought “There’s no way I’m trying THAT right now”, this guy cut in front of me and grabbed (full stride) one of the tongue depressors – and in one very smooth and deliberate motion, he slapped the bright green goo into his mouth and tossed the tongue depressor to the side.
It all happened so fast that the woman holding the goo jar couldn’t get the words out of her mouth quickly enough. “NOOOOOOO – OHHHHHHH – ewwwwwww – he ate it!”
It was then that I realized BIO FREEZE is NOT intended for internal consumption – and probably has no electrolyte benefits.
In fact, BIO FREEZE is a pain reliever (like Ben-Gay only better) and is intended to be massaged into your skin to relieve pain. Luckily for the “Goo Man” (you are what you eat) BIO FREEZE is mostly herbal and other than an unrelenting menthol cooling (burning) sensation in his mouth for the rest of the weekend, he should be fine.
When I went to the BIO FREEZE website I saw that they offer sample packets in conveniently labeled wrappers – Goo Man would have surely stopped before opening this single serving sample and squeezing it into his mouth. I wondered why they didn’t just give those out. Perhaps they figured it is more ‘green’ to hand samples out from a bulk container. Not sure if Goo Man would agree, but I certainly appreciate their efforts.
In most races I am all for getting to the finish as quickly as my body will let me. Sometimes, though, it pays to take in the sights (and look a little more closely at what you throw into your face).
Inspire. Perform. Endure.
