June 26th, 2015. I will never forget that day. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. We were closing on our first home together that we had designed and built from the ground up, our forever home. Big enough to grow into and start our own family. Being that we were both in our mid 30’s, our hopes were to start a family shortly after moving in. That all changed after Nestor’s MRI on that same day. To say our world was rocked would be an understatement.
Fortunately, Dr. Henry S. Friedman, neuro-oncologist at the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke, was a personal training client of Nestor’s. Nestor had been having all sorts of visual problems for about a month that turned into headaches. He had even joked with Henry, asking him what’s the possibility that I have a tumor? Henry said something like 3%. We were all shocked to find out that a brain tumor was causing all his visual problems. In the words of Dr. Friedman, it was like winning the lottery in reverse, no kidding.
Shocked, angry, numb, and scared are the words that prevail when I think back to last summer. Shocked when we saw the MRI; angry and numb when we got the diagnosis of a Grade 4, glioblastoma multiforme; scared as to what our life would be like going forward.
I did NOT want to live without Nestor. He truly is the love of my life and my best friend. I kept asking the universe, “what did I possibly do to deserve this? What did Nestor do?” None of it made sense to us. All we knew was that we had to get this tumor out of his head, and we had a lot of life still left to live, together.
We were moving along, happy as could be. We had just finished hiking Machu Picchu in Peru, building our forever home, and we weren’t one of those couples that needed a wakeup call. We KNEW we were fortunate to be living the life we had envisioned. We knew each day and each moment was precious! Why did this happen to us? One of our friends said it best when she said, “The ONLY way I’ve made sense of Nestor’s diagnosis was to think that powerful forces brought him and Henry together to do great work. The rest of us have an obligation to help them however we can.” Those words just hit me like a ton of bricks, in a good way, but it put everything in perspective. I have always felt that if anyone can beat this, it’s my love, but this just solidified it in my mind, heart, and soul.
Just the other day, I was thinking, a year ago Nestor was feeling so much worse than he is now. Yes, we now know he is fighting cancer, but all of his vision and taste symptoms are gone. He can enjoy food again!! For the most part, aside from fatigue, short-term memory loss, and occasional nausea, he is feeling better. I am grateful that he is feeling more like himself and life is pretty much back to “normal”. He was so intent on getting back to normal, and I feel like he is finally there. I mean, he just ran a 14-miler! How many people fighting cancer (or not fighting cancer) can run14 miles? My guess is not that many.
So, while our life has taken this terrible turn, we are fighting like hell and making the most of every day. Next on the adventure list, after his 100-miler in April, is hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro in July 2017. Our story is to be continued because we aren’t done living and making memories. Living with positivity and gratitude is the only way to be.This story would not be complete without thanking Dr. Henry S. Friedman, Dr. Allan H. Friedman, the Neuro ICU nursing staff, and the entire staff at the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke. These people are our angels, and we know we wouldn’t be here today without their expertise, compassion, and exceptional care.
I would also like to thank everyone who donated to our GiveForward.com campaign and our #NestorStrong Angels Among Us 5k race team. And last, but certainly not least, our friends, family, and our EMPOWER community for all of their support and love during this journey. We really do have an incredible support system, and we have witnessed firsthand that it takes a village to make it through this thing called life.
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