By Michael Wilkes
I always knew Melissa was an amazing woman. She is a hard worker, fierce competitor, and lots of fun—the kind of person you always want on your team. That’s why I married her. She has helped me continue to grow as a man. She is a consistent motivator and inspiration to her friends. She is doing an amazing job raising our 5 kids and looking at her you wouldn’t even think it possible that she has given birth to 5 kids, or that she is even old enough. While taking such good care of her family, she has also been persistent in maintaining her own health. She exercises daily, runs at least four times per week, and maintains a healthy diet. She makes sure our family eats well and lives a healthy lifestyle. Now she has cancer.
Our lives have changed drastically, but Melissa continues to be amazing and inspiring. Instead of letting cancer defeat her, Melissa’s cancer has magnified her best qualities as well as her impact on the lives of those who know her.
Last October, Melissa and I ran the Two-Town Half Marathon on Topsail Island. Lying in bed a couple months prior to the event, Melissa told me she thought she might have cancer soon. She thought God was preparing her. It was a sobering conversation that she insisted on having; it wasn’t really a conversation because I just listened. At that point she had no symptoms. We were in the middle of training together, and she was doing very well.
We ran the race on October 10 and Melissa had stomach issues during the race that never went away. She had severe cramps during most of the run, had to make an emergency pit stop but she still managed to finish, She even won first place in her age group. We thought we may have eaten bad food the night before, but she didn’t get better. After a couple of weeks the severe cramps and immediate bathroom issues that came every time she ate led her to urgent care.
The doctor prescribed her antibiotics thinking it was probably a bacterial infection. I knew Melissa suspected it was something more, but she did not mention it to the doctor. She took the antibiotics and it only got worse. After the prescription was completed she began to develop new pain that felt like pins and needles in her lower abdomen, and then fever and chills. Once again she mentioned cancer to me. I encouraged her to go back to urgent care the next morning, while I brought the kids to church. I asked her to tell the doctor she thinks it may be cancer, not because I thought she was right, but because I wanted them to rule it out and put her mind at ease.
The doctor sent her immediately to the hospital for a CT scan because her lower left abdomen was sore even to the touch. They suspected it might be diverticulitis. Later that night the ER Doctor informed us that the scans showed suspicious spots all throughout her liver, a larger solid mass in her colon, some spots in her lungs, abdomen wall, and spine. He prepared us for a probable metastatic cancer diagnosis and admitted her to the hospital for pain management and further testing.
But she’s only 35. She’s healthy. She eats well. She lives well. And, she has five young kids.
Like so many others, we have learned that cancer does not discriminate. Hers is an inoperable and aggressive form of stage IV colon cancer. Her doctors have given us sobering, realistic expectations about her situation. They don’t expect her life to be long. They expect her to be on chemotherapy for the rest of her life. There is no known curative treatment plan for her situation. Yet, even her oncologist says that he isn’t the one who decides Melissa’s fate. Her life and health are in God’s hands. He is the Great Physician—and Melissa knows it. He can heal her. We wish we knew for certain what he was going to, but he is sustaining Melissa and doing great things through this.
Instead of worrying about the future or complaining about her circumstances, Melissa has chosen to receive every moment as a gift and opportunity from God. She has made a familiar Bible verse her motto and mission everyday when she wakes up: “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24 ESV).
She is fighting, and exceeding expectations, and inspiring many along the way. I remember waking up in the hospital at 4:00 AM because I heard Melissa talking with one of her nurses. I overheard the nurse sharing some struggles in her personal life with Melissa, so I pretended to still be asleep. A few minutes later Melissa asked the nurse if she could pray for her, then afterwards the nurse, with tears flowing, said, “Here you are ministering to me, when I’m supposed to be ministering to you.”
Her doctors have been amazed by the peace and joy within her. They have also been amazed to see that she seems to be getting stronger instead of weaker. To this point her cancer is not shrinking—it progressed at first, and now is stable. She has completed over six months of very aggressive chemotherapy. Many people are severely weakened by the side effects of her treatment, but she often says to me, “I don’t even feel like I have cancer.” Her doctor and nurses are shocked that she is exercising and running to the extent that she is.
She continues to exercise almost daily at the YMCA, and runs 2-3 miles several times a week,. A couple weeks ago she asked me to do an interval training class with her. I don’t usually do classes, but I gave in. The next couple days I was terribly sore, but not Melissa. I was humiliated by the realization that my wife with cancer and chemotherapy is still in better shape than me.
On Mother’s day she ran her first race since that half-marathon. It was the Run Like A Mother 5K. The race directors wanted to feature Melissa’s story and help raise funds for her treatment, so Melissa decided she would run in it. She didn’t win her age group this time, but she ran strong. Her perseverance through this has inspired me. It has inspired our kids, and our friends. When people mention to Melissa how impressed they are with her strength—whether doctors, friends, or people she doesn’t even know—she describes her strength as the result of doing two things:
- Trust in the Lord. We may not understand his plan, or like every part of it, but trust him. God has given Melissa tremendous peace and joy. He is using her trial in her life, and in the lives of many others.
- Exercise no matter what. There are always excuses. Chemotherapy is a good excuse. Cancer is a good excuse. And, yours are good excuses as well, but they are not going to help you.
Melissa is convinced exercise is the reason her chemo and cancer have not beaten her down.
