By Dana Ayers
I make no secret of the fact that I’m a slow runner. I like to say I’m built for endurance, not speed. I can keep going, at least for 26 miles (there are records! I can prove it!) But I won’t be fast. It’s never really bothered me in races because I’ve learned there are always others struggling as much as I am, if not more. That’s what makes races and the running community so much more welcoming than most people think. But two years ago I did something that upped the ante on my running game: I joined the U.S. military.
I’m not a normal military story. I didn’t sign up to serve until I was in my 30’s. I had volunteered for military service organizations since the war in Iraq started so I felt like I was contributing in some way. But I also kept hearing the stories of friends who had served and I kept seeing this amazing community where people valued discipline and never left each other behind. I couldn’t take it anymore and had to try to be an official part of that community myself. I found a program that would allow me to go in as an officer and use the skills I’d developed in the civilian world. So in the spring of 2014, I became a naval officer in the Reserve.
With my new uniform came the requirement to complete a physical readiness test twice a year. The test includes a certain number of pushups in two minutes, a certain number of sit-ups in two minutes, and a mile and a half run.
I’ve finished a full marathon. I’ve finished multiple half marathons, 10-milers, obstacle courses, trail runs – I’ve even participated in 200- and 500-mile relays. A mile and a half? Psh.
Except…it’s timed. And even though I’ve managed to meet the standards for my age group, I still tend to be at the back of the pack with the rest of my unit watching me finish.
It’s an exercise in humility every single time.
I’m always lapped by at least two people.
I always have “shipmates” being told by our leadership to come out and run alongside me as I finish. I can only imagine that’s supposed to make me feel supported but honestly it just makes me want to run the other way towards anonymity and Dunkin’ Donuts.
At one point, I was not only passed by all my Navy counterparts, but the Army got tired of waiting to use the track and let their soldiers start their test before I had finished. The depth of my slowness had outlasted an entire branch of the U.S. Armed Forces. I began seeing a totally different uniform pass me before I finally completed the test. If that doesn’t knock your pride down a peg, I’m not sure what would.
(When I later told that story to a friend, she looked at me with a mixture of amusement and pity, as if looking at a pet fighting its own tail. “You really have a lot of heart!” she finally blurted out, which I assume was code for, “I didn’t realize anyone could be that bad at something and want to keep doing it in public anyway!” Ah, running. You keep me so grounded.)
I pride myself on standing in solidarity with slow runners because I really do believe running is a sport that pretty much everyone can do. It’s always better to try than to stay on the couch in fear – even if you’re slow. But I have to admit, I’m filled with a little dread before my annual running test. I worry someone will see me in a Navy shirt trotting along like a sloth and fear for the defense of our nation.
I’m not going to let that stop me, though. I’m using it to spur me to dig deeper and try harder. And even if I’m still getting lapped during the test, as long as I’m within standards and I’m doing my best, I’m going to try not to let it bother me. I’m still out there. I’m still trying.
It’s just like the rest of life. We all have strengths and weaknesses. I came into the Navy ready to offer what I could: years of experience, integrity, and a risk-taking attitude. We can’t all be good at everything. (Except those few who actually are!)
Do I offer the Navy a six-minute-mile pace? No I don’t. I never will, unless I’m bitten by a radioactive spider. Or by Meb Keflezighi. (Yes that’s an odd mental image, but hey, if it’d work…) Should that make me stay home, not serve the military, not enter races? Absolutely not. And if you are a back of the pack’er like me, it shouldn’t make you hang on the sidelines either. We all have gifts. Mine isn’t speed, but that won’t keep me from getting out there and contributing to the running community and the military. Offer what you have and never be ashamed of it.
Run slow. Run happy. (Go Navy.)
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Dana Ayers is the author of the #1 Best Seller “Confessions of an Unlikely Runner (A Guide to Racing and Obstacle Courses for the Averagely Fit and Halfway Dedicated).” Dana accidentally became a runner over 10 years ago and has logged a vast array of average finish times since. She is a former White House staffer, and current military reservist.
