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Thank you for the opportunity to share my Ramblin Rose story…
Life is about seasons, some are difficult, and some are refreshing. During my journey through cancer I couldn’t process my circumstances by season or even day by day, it was reduced to moments, one following the other, small increments of time. I do believe I was given a gift, the ability to see moments and be in them, not rushing to the next awaiting moment. Rejoicing over the strength to get up and make my son breakfast and get him to school, rejoicing when I ate chicken and broccoli after chemo and it didn’t make me sick, receiving a card that said exactly what I needed to hear to get me to the next moment. Crying in between rejoicing, telling myself to just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Breathing a sigh of relief as each day passed and I had made it through it.
I took my last chemotherapy treatment on September 29th 2005, and with the anticipation of a child on Christmas morning, I found myself anxiously awaiting the end, or beginning, how ever you choose to look at it.
With the months that have passed I’ve slowly regained what felt like would be lost forever. With my hair returning, my reconstructive surgery and regaining ovarian function, not as quickly as I lost all of those things, but with time, I’ve regained some of the femininity that was lost.
The neatest part of that, is I had really regained most of my femininity before any of those things resurfaced, because God allowed me to see that it’s not my hair, my ability to nourish children, or my ability to have future children that make me who I am.
Through cancer I have been moved beyond myself. I have seen courage that I didn’t know I had. I have been loved in ways I never thought possible and been able to love freely and for the right reasons.
It is absolutely apparent to me that in the worst circumstances life can throw at you, the most beautiful things are born. Adversity is a paradox that the longer I live; the more I understand the importance of it!
Participating in the Ramblin Rose this weekend marks several milestones for me, celebrating my 32nd birthday on 10/12, and my 3.5 cancer mark on 11/13. It also feels some what like laughing in the face of cancer, and reminding me to always strive to challenge my boundaries and as long as there is breath in me, never settle. I have not entered the race to win it, only to finish it, and finish it well. I hope my life and legacy will do the same.
Rashel Ross (2008 Ramblin’ Rose Charlotte participant) |
