By Michelle Joshua

I used to be an avid tennis player back in my high school days. And I like to think that I was pretty good. The sport came easily and brought me pleasure and accolades. That is, until I traded in my tennis racket for a crew oar when I went to college. As a Division I athlete, I pushed my body to physical levels I had never before achieved and was at my fittest and strongest when I graduated.

So you can imagine my surprise when I returned to tennis in my early 20s and realized that my physical gains seemed to have no positive effect on my tennis game. Actually, my stroke felt awkward, my footwork was sloppy, and I felt embarrassed to be out on the court displaying a level of play that cut to the heart of my identity as a solid tennis player. I gave up tennis for the second time in five years. Every few years I would pick up a racket and try to mount a comeback, but after incredible frustration, my returns would be short-lived.

This cycle of failed comeback attempts would have repeated indefinitely was it not for the following lessons I have learned since becoming a sport psychologist. So for all of you who plan to get back in shape, return to race form, or complete another century ride, here are some tips to help you achieve your next goal, preserve a healthy athletic identity, and ensure success:

Adopt a nonjudgmental attitude about your process. You need to be kind to yourself. Yes, you may likely have thoughts like, “Wow, I’m really out of shape” or “I used to do this in my sleep.” These self-assessments may be accurate; however, they are not likely helpful to you in making progress toward your goals. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings and can dampen enthusiasm for your efforts.

  • Keep your expectations in line with your reality. Many high level athletes are convinced that they “should” be as good as they once were at their particular sport and they expect a lot from themselves. Nothing wrong with setting the bar high, so long as the bar is in the right place from the beginning. Use your past experiences to give you confidence that your training efforts will result in success. That’s an advantage you have over those new to the sport. Be mindful, however, that you do not use the same exact standards as you had in the past. Performance factors such as significant changes in health, training environment, time constraints, and family/work responsibilities may be either a boon or a detriment and need to be taken into consideration when creating new standards and expectations. Using the old standards when new rules apply may lead to early disappointment and abandonment of the goal.
  • Get excited about a return to your passion. I struggle with the word “comeback” because it implies a return to a previous state. You likely want to move forward, not back. The idea of growth and evolution is exciting. Try ditching the word “comeback” and replacing it with something more positive, like, “encore performance” or “the next right thing.” Getting creative and naming your goal gives you a sense of ownership and can deepen your investment in the outcome.
  • Develop a clear understanding of why you are revisiting the goal. Often, it is not until after a failed attempt that people explore their motivations. Ask yourself why you are really undertaking your task. Be clear that the goal is for you and not to please someone else. Be honest with yourself regarding whether you are undertaking the goal because you “should” or because you “want to.” The former evaluation may make the goal feel like a chore, whereas the latter implies ownership. Once you know why you’re pursing your goal, you have the opportunity to use it as inspiration, share your vision with others, and remind yourself of it when challenges arise.
  • Frame your goals in terms of a process with many markers of success. Having the goal of completing a race or achieving your desired outcome is a wonderful starting point. Goals give you direction and provide a framework for your efforts. In addition to setting an outcome goal (e.g., Complete X race in Y time), you can benefit from creating additional markers of progress, performance, and success along the way (e.g., stretch daily; meet a new friend on a group ride; or keep a training log/journal to document your thoughts, feelings, and progress). As a result, you are more likely to enjoy the journey, regardless of the outcome. Should your motivation, family situation, work environment, or health change and necessitate an adjustment in your outcome goal, you can make the necessary changes without a feeling like a failure and take pride in your efforts up to that point.

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Dr. Michelle Joshua is a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Consultant through the Association for Applied Sport Psychology. She works with adolescents and adults, from the non-exerciser to the elite athlete, on a wide variety of performance and health-related topics at the North Raleigh office of Carolina Performance.