By D.C. Lucchesi
Whether you’re a first-time marathoner or you keep standing reservations in the shadows of the John Hancock Tower, you very likely keep tabs on any sources that might give you an edge to either thrive – or survive – your upcoming 26.2 mile affair. There are magazines, websites and entire books devoted to the subject of marathon training, with marginal variation in their method. And those know-it-all running buddies of yours seem to always have some tried-and-true advice to offer up. Well, here’s your chance to pull a fast one on them. Here’s a list of marathon tips that sound so legit, my editor required me to put a warning label on it: do not try this at home!
Avoid long lines at the porta-potty
The clock doesn’t stop for you to take a “nature break”. Save precious time by wearing Depends® or other adult undergarments. The newer, thinner designs are easily concealed under most running shorts. You can bypass long lines at the potty; a particular worry at major marathons like Chicago, Marine Corps, etc. After use, they can be easily removed and disposed of at a later aid station. Not recommended for use with compression shorts or high-split, racing-style shorts.
Chafing and Blisters
This is a common problem for runners and racers of all distances and abilities, but it can be downright debilitating over the course of a marathon. We’ve all seen that guy cross the finish with bloody nipples. Don’t be that guy. Band-AidsTM are for sissies. A real man uses duct tape on those trouble spots like feet and toes, nipples and inner thighs. It goes on easy, it’s nearly weatherproof and you can get it at any hardware or discount store. Here’s the fine print: removal of duct tape from skin can result in redness, rash, or epidermal damage. Please test on inconspicuous area first.
If duct tape seems to aggressive, try Crisco® or a similar product to lube up those hot spots. Crisco® comes in convenient sticks which stay solid at room temperature. Just peel back the foil like a banana and apply as needed to areas prone to blisters and chafing. It also comes in butter flavor.
Nutrition
Fat is an often underrated fuel source in many endurance athletes. Once liver glycogen is depleted, the body can be trained to burn fat to supply working muscles with energy. Fat is also calorie dense, which means a little goes a long way. That being said, mayonnaise should be considered the ultimate fat fuel. And talk about cost effective! Forget paying a buck and a half for single serve, carbo-laced energy gels. The next time you’re out to eat, pocket a handful or more of those little restaurant packs of mayo. They’re the perfect size and they’re usually free!
Looking for lightweight, portable nutrition on-the-go? Two words: pork rinds. Look no further than your local corner convenience store for this high sodium snack. And pork rinds have “recovery” in the bag – pun intended! At 9.0g protein per serving and 300mg of sodium, they can put back what you spent on the course in just one 90 calorie serving! And talk about easy to find – particularly if you’re on your way to a marathon down south.
Hydration
With its sugar and salt content, margarita mix may be the near-perfect sports drink you’ve never tried. One serving has about 105 calories, 0g fat, 15mg sodium, 13g carbs, 0g fiber, 5.5g sugar, and who doesn’t love the taste of a margarita? You won’t find this magic potion at any aid stations, so you’ll have to bring your own. The bounce from a waist-mounted bottle belt or handheld bottle will keep the ingredients from settling. Plus, if mixed “properly”, it offers a pain relieving ingredient you won’t get in Gatorade or other sports drinks.
Race Day Apparel
You’ve likely heard the word about what not to wear on race day, like something you just bought at the race expo the night before, or the event shirt. Here’s some scoop on what you could wear. A proper fitting girdle would provide the same support as the more expensive, sport-specific compression tights. Before you dismiss this as industry spin or just plain crazy talk, consider that both garments are likely made in the same overseas factory and similar materials. The rest is all marketing!
And here’s an idea ripped straight from the top drawer of dear old granddad. Considering whether the performance benefits of compression socks outweigh the cost? Well, before you plunk down $30, $50 or more, consider a test run in a pair of gramps’ over-the-calf dress socks. No one will likely give you a second look, and you can decide for yourself if you’d like to make the investment in the real thing. And to think we use to laugh at all those old guys mowing grass and walking dogs in knee-high Gold ToeTM specials.
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D.C. Lucchesi runs, writes and rides in Charlotte, NC. The award-winning producer and writer gave up the glamorous life of television and public relations for the excitement of parenting full-time and freelance writing. D.C. can be reached at dc@runforyourlife.com.
