Challenges for Boys
A current challenge for boys is the “Boy Code” that Dr. William Pollack, the senior adviser for Let Me Run, writes about in his book “Real Boys.” As a result of this code, boys develop a “mask of masculinity” to hide their shame, vulnerability and other feelings that they cannot express publicly. The inability to show true emotions hardens a boy until, ultimately, he loses touch with them. Today’s boys, Pollack writes, are “only allowed to lead half their emotional lives.”
One disturbing consequence of the Boy Code is that lack of emotional expression can morph into stress, sickness, decreased learning potential, addiction and even violence. But fostering the emotional intelligence of boys gives them a better chance of understanding emotions in others, thus making them more successful in relationships.
In thinking about creating a running program for boys, Ashley Armistead, the president of Let Me Run, held a town hall meeting with local educators, coaches, physicians and businessmen. The following were listed as priorities for a boys’ program:
- Emphasize cardiovascular fitness and total body strength
- Redefine winning and success. Success could be losing the game, but having a kid score his first goal.
- Teach boys how to discover their own strengths and recognize strengths of others
- Provide opportunities to practice empathy and to celebrate the success of others
- Provide coaching and practice for natural leaders to think in terms of bringing a group together instead of beating the group
- Push boys out of their comfort zone and find a sense of responsibility in the group
- Teach that it is OK to express fears and fail
- Teach how to create success through initiatives and team-building activities
- Help boys feel successful, hear a lot of positive comments and be validated
- Encourage relationships with positive role models, which impact more than curriculum
- Help boys realize that they are more than the sum of their accomplishments or the accumulation of things.
- Use the media to find everyday heroes and inspiration
- Help to demonstrate and create a broader definition of masculinity
